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19 September 2009 @ 09:33 am
[2PM] Abilities, Not Superpowers  
Fandom: 2PM
Pairing: GEN (with ninja!het in there somewhere!)
Rating: PG-13 (language, some mature themes)

Inspired by this. Because everyone needs a good laugh now and then.
And thanks to my lovely friend sunshinetown/rope_weaver for her amazing ideas and spazzy anecdotes without which I would definitely not survive physics class.

Abilities, Not Superpowers
(Or, in which Jay wishes he has misplaced his sanity, because these things cannot be happening)

The first indication anything has gone wrong happens on an episode of Star King when, in the middle of filming, Kang Ho Dong is lifted off his feet and hovers, sputtering, for a good 10 seconds before he falls right back down again, as if dropped. That scene is predictably edited out by the puzzled PDs, and everyone on set shoots everyone else suspicious looks as they bow their goodbyes, but otherwise, nothing much is different.

They are all dead tired on the way home, and Taecyeon sleepily wishes he could reach that water bottle by Junsu’s head without moving.

The water bottle floats dreamily into his lap.

Minjae-hyung, conversing in quiet tones with the driver, doesn’t notice; Jay, seated beside him and the only one still conscious, stares in disbelief at the innocent-looking bottle at rest in Taecyeon’s lap.

Minutes pass in stunned silence before Jay breaks it with the only piece of coherent language running through his mind: “What the fuck?”

After Jay has abused his leader rights and kicked Junsu out of the room by claiming he and Taecyeon needed to talk about how the Jonas Brothers had made a huge splash in Seattle (seriously, who the hell cared about those brats anyway, especially at this time of the night), Taecyeon turns off the lights and wonders what Jay wants (and it had better not be his body, because he definitely liked girls); meanwhile, Jay remembers that he was explaining the English phrase “when pigs fly” on Star King and Taecyeon may have been looking at their porky MC with a cheeky expression on his face when The Incident (as it will henceforth be dubbed) happened.

“Hyung, you know I like-”

“How’d you do that?”

Taecyeon is confused. “Do what?”

Jay rolls his eyes in the dark. “With Kang Ho Dong. And the water bottle.”

There is a snort. “You think that was me?”

Jay leans over the edge of the bunk and squints his eyes at the lump he can barely make out. “I know it was you.”

Taecyeon sighs and rubs his face. “Jay, you’re making even less sense than usual, so maybe you should just sl-”

“Try it.”

Jay’s words are met with silence.

“No seriously, I dare you to try it.”

He can almost see the weary expression on his Taecyeon’s face as the other man groans, “Jay, honestly, this is-”


Taecyeon huffs, “This isn’t going to work,” but turns around anyway and stares at the pile of dirty socks he knows are on the table. Visualizing flying socks and bruised egos, Taecyeon snorts again and says, for good measure, “Oh dirty socks of Junsu, come to thy master!”

Quiet ensues and Jay can’t hear Taecyeon breathe.

He jumps off the bed and flips the light switch.

There Taecyeon sits, two socks decorating his head and a small pile lying on his pillow.

Jay doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and settles for two simple words.

“Holy shit.”


The two of them agree not to tell the others about this interesting development (but they do test it out for half an hour after the initial experiment) because Jay doesn’t want Taecyeon to get shipped off by the FBI (those jerks are everywhere) for scientific research and have to visit him and see him in a glass box and besides, it would suck if 2PM lost their beastly beast just because he could suddenly make things move with his mind. The Hottests would riot, and Seoul did not need more rioting fangirls (because that was Cassiopeia’s job, not their kind, polite, sane Hottests).

This works out fine until the day Nichkhun suddenly soars out of his seat during a session of it’s-3AM-lets-wake-the-neighbors-and-annoy-the-hell-out-of-Minjae-hyung karaoke. Wooyoung drops the mike and Junho’s eyes are at least five times their normal size, and then Jay turns and glares at Taecyeon before snarling, in English, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Taecyeon is bewildered. “I’m not doing it!”

“Holy shit, how else can we explain this?”

“I said, I’m NOT DOING IT!”


The four exclusively-Korean speakers frown in annoyance; Khun is flying and Jay and Taecyeon are having a conversation none of them can understand, and it’s all too much to comprehend at three in the morning.

This continues for a while until Khun says, voice trembling, “Can you guys figure out how to get me down first?”

They eventually confirm that Taecyeon was not the culprit behind this particular bout of gravity-defying, and Jay comes to the conclusion that Khun can fly. The truth about The Incident comes out as well, and none of them can believe that Taecyeon had managed to lift Kang Ho Dong with only his mind.

Damn that beastly beast with his beastly teeth.


It’s a week until payday and the Jun brothers are sitting, bored, at JYP headquarters while the rest of the group do their schedules. Junsu is thirsty and craves a milkshake, and wishes he were richer while counting out the coins in his pocket. He stops counting and dreaming about piles and piles of money when he realizes that the coins in his hand are suddenly a lot heavier than they should be.

His jaw drops as he realizes that they’re gold. Gold. That 500-won piece in his hand is made of gold.

Junsu tries to calculate how many milkshakes he would be able to buy now.

The rest of the members, predictably, try to bully Junsu into turning all their material possessions into gold (“I’m sure we can touch base with some contacts in the underground, and get some real money out of this”), until Jay abuses his leader rights again in order to draw up some rules regarding Junsu’s newfound ability.

01. You may only ask Junsu to use his ability once a week.
02. The object to be transformed must be no larger than a 100-won coin.
03. A tenth of the value of the transformed object must be placed in the feed-Jay-more-American-food fund.


It’s barely 3 days after Junsu’s induction into the I-have-freakish-powers sub-unit of 2PM when Jay notices something is definitely not right with himself. He’s supposed to be making witty remarks in bad Korean while breaking out in random English phrases (because he has to cater to international fans too, now), but all he can think about is Wooyoung’s thigh touching his and the heat radiating from the point of contact. And when Wooyoung does his stupid aegyo, Jay suddenly doesn’t find it stupid anymore, and it takes all his willpower to not give those baby-face cheeks a good grope.

As they stand up and do their finishing goodbyes, and Wooyoung wanders over to the side closer to the camera, Jay feels the heat subside from his body and chalks it down to stress and harmful foreign influences.

The feeling rises up again as the seven of them are seated around the table during dinner, but Jay doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with putting his head onto cute little Wooyoungie’s shoulder until Nichkhun, seated on the younger man’s other side, punches his face in.

“Oh my gosh, Jay, I’m so sorry, I have no idea what came over me, oh my gosh-”

Nichkhun cannot stop apologizing while Junho gently presses ice against Jay’s black eye. Jay’s head is, surprisingly, a lot clearer than it had been at dinner. He doesn’t quite understand what had happened, not only at the table, but also throughout the day, but cannot quite put it into words. Nickhun, as well, seems to be at a loss for (coherent) words, but something akin to horror creeps into his expression as he realizes what may have happened.

The sound of glass breaking and chairs flipping in the next room confirm Jay’s suspicions.

Taecyeon and Chansung sit, slightly shamefaced, while Wooyoung mopes, having been banished to the other side of the room. Jay and Nickhun try to convince themselves nothing had just happened by drowning themselves in alcohol (although their schedule starts at 5am the next morning) and Junsu and Junho try to test out the limits of Wooyoung’s power.

“It’s around 2 metres,” Junsu announces, and returns to their side of the room with Junho, who is still looking a little dazed, firmly in tow. “It’s too large of a radius for us to avoid completely, so we’ll just have to grit our teeth and bear it when we’re doing schedule.”

Jay bangs his head against the coffee table. Wooyoung has always been very popular with the girls, but he cannot even imagine the consequences such a power could lead to. He wonders whether he can file restraining orders against the entire female sex to prohibit them from coming closer than 2 metres to Wooyoung. And then he remembers that he would have to file orders against men as well, because what had just happened obviously proved that no one was immune to Wooyoung’s charms.


In his lonely corner, Wooyoung whimpers.


They are playing Call of Duty 4 early one morning when the controller Chansung is holding bursts into flame.

He drops it in shock and stomps ferociously on the small flames, until all that’s left is twisted plastic and a blackened, smoking Hello Kitty slipper. Junsu, who witnesses the entire event, doesn’t find it all that strange. After all, Taecyeon can move things with his mind, Nichkhun can fly, he can turn things into gold and Wooyoung is a human aphrodisiac. It only made sense that Chansung could set things on fire.

Chansung can set things on fire.

Junsu swears something bloody fierce and Jay comes running.

Jay is going to go insane.

Their magnae, sweet and temperamental, and altogether much too strong for a boy his age, can set things on fire. He can only imagine how hell will really break loose the next time someone eats one of the Chansung’s precious bananas or smuggles in mangoes without telling him.

He decides there has to be new rules in the house. Rules regarding these stupid abilities his members have recently acquired, because he absolutely refuses to call them superpowers and they really need some preventive measures to minimize the damage control he knows they will need sooner or later.

01. Taecyeon is not allowed to move things more than 10lbs in weight, and nothing at all while doing schedule. Even if he is too tired to lift a backpack.
02. Nichkhun is not allowed to fly. Period. No if, ands, or buts. Unless they belong to a female. Preferably an English-speaking one.
03. Refer to Junsu’s rules for Junsu’s rules.
04. Wooyoung is not allowed to use his power for evil (ie. Seducing other members, seducing the pretty noonas on set, seducing anyone really); actually, he’s not allowed to use them at all. But since he apparently has no control over them, he must stay a minimum of 2.5m away from all human beings when not doing schedule.
05. Chansung is not allowed to set things on fire. Not even when his food has been stolen/eaten/misplaced. The only time he may set anything on fire is when under direct supervision from all six of his hyungs, in the parking lot where the CCTV cameras are broken, and the object in question must a) be no larger than a book, b) not have any WHMIS warnings on it c) not be alive.


Hours and hours of practice mean less (no) time to fool around, so Jay’s sanity is still quite intact. By the time their comeback performance has been scheduled and they are seeing their stylist noonas a lot more than they’d like to, another kind of insanity has begun to set in.

Only Junho seems to be strangely immune to the buzz of the approaching comeback; the boy is still all eye-smiles and lame jokes, but on the rare occasions dance practice has gone entirely wrong and he gets punched (playfully, Jay insists) one too many times, the entire room seems to go cold with a suffocating sort of unhappiness. But those times are few, and Jay finds himself spending a lot more time with his almost-magnae, one half of the Jun brothers.

He mentions it to Jessica in passing during one of their quick conversations, and she laughs and tells him that Junho reminds her of a character in a book. Something about teenage vampire angst and being able to influence emotions. And then the rest of the conversation is dominated by giggles and some douche called Edwin Cullen and Jay finally has enough and pretends his battery is dying.

His mood is predictably sour by the time vocal practice rolls around (seriously, what self-respecting man wants to hear about a vampire who sparkles, for crying out loud?), but Junho, ever the kind dongseng, notices and gives him a pat on the back. Jay’s mood instantly – inexplicably – lifts.

That night, he remembers Jessica’s excited nattering, and while cursing Tiffany’s role in getting Jess stuck on such a stupid-sounding book, looks up this Edmund Cullen on Wikipedia. It’s all pansy-schmansy stuff as he had expected, but then he happens upon the character called Jasper – the one who has the ability to influence the moods of people.

He freezes.

This isn’t as bad as Chansung or Wooyoung, but it still isn’t good.

“So hyung, you mean Junho can make people happy?” Wooyoung slowly asks, tilting his head in an utterly unacceptable (cute!) fashion as Jay tries to explain to his members why they have all been feeling utterly content when in Junho’s presence recently.

“Well. Sort of. It’s kinda complicated,” Jay mumbles, trying to figure out how he was going to explain sparkly vampires with super powers to this bunch. Taec and Khun, having access to Wikipedia themselves, understood it (almost) right away – but they had sisters, the two of them, sisters who happened to like the inane series as well.

“Junho can influence the feelings of people he’s around, depending on his own mood at the time,” Taecyeon offers, looking over the pages of his manga. Jay doesn’t understand how unmoving 2D pictures on a page could be more interesting than moving, talking, 3D hotties on-screen, but it keeps Taec quiet and aegyo-free, so Jay just ignores it.

A minute of uncharacteristic silence passes over the group.

Chansung peels open a banana with practiced ease and stuffs half of it into his mouth. He swallows, then asks, “Am I the only one who thinks that’s kind of really lame?”

Lame or not, Junho’s ability comes in handy. Especially during times like these.

The seven of them are backstage, being fussed over by the hair and make-up people, being given a pep talk by Minjae-hyung, offered high-fives and friendly slaps by the staff, and it’s all too much to take in. Jay can hear the loud chanting of the Hottests (their Hottests, mind you) from the door that leads to their future, and Jay is so nervous he can hardly see.

But then the moment finally comes, and six pairs of eyes are boring into his; he opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. There is a reassuring pat on the back from Taec on his left, and a squeeze from Junsu on his right. Junho smiles, and a wave of cool confidence falls over Jay, filling his lungs with air and his heart with more.

The world goes quiet and everything around him stills; he can hear each breath his brothers take, see each nervous movement and hear each whispered prayer-

And the moment is gone.


The lights come on, the music blares, and Jay can see himself reflected in the eyes of everyone sitting before him.


When they win their first Mutizen, tears fill all their eyes – tears stemming from years of hard training, sleepless nights, and endless prayers now answered – and wishes, for a second, that he could wrap this moment around himself and enjoy it, if only for a little while.

It hardly surprises him (because nothing much can surprise him these days) when everything stills and comes to a stop.

The Hottests have fallen silent mid-cheer, although their mouths are still wide open; Taecyeon and Chansung are frozen mid-high five, the Jun brothers are locked in embrace, Khun’s arm is stiff and heavy over his shoulders and Wooyoung looks kind of dumb, his mouth hanging open in what must be the middle of a holler.

It is only later, when he is safe in his own bed with their trophy proudly on display on their kitchen table, that Jay realizes he had stopped Time.


He sees his mother for the first time in almost 2 years in August; 2PM’s first anniversary is in September and their comeback is sometime after that, and it may be another year until he sees her again.

Jay has never considered himself to be a very affectionate person by nature, but something in his mother’s face beckons to him, and he doesn’t resist when she pulls him into her arms; for such a tiny person, his mother is a wellspring of overflowing strength, love and perseverance. He knows he will be lucky if he turns out to be even half the person she is.

The second time Jay stops Time, he hopes it will be his last. His mother is warm and soft and he wishes he can stay in her embrace for just a minute longer; her presence fills him up like the intense summer day he knows is beyond the walls of the airport.

But the moment breaks; airports cannot be touched by things like seasons, and Jay hears the boarding call.

He thinks of his work schedule and the friendly camaraderie he is returning to, but his mother’s sad smile is the only thing in his mind as he falls asleep.


September 8, 2009
Seoul, Korea

On his last night as Park Jaebeom, leader of 2PM, he stops Time once again. He hadn’t been planning on this, but few of his plans work out anyway.

From Chansung, he takes back the 70GB of porn; the kid shouldn’t be watching crap like that anyway, so Jay will mail it back to Boom-hyung when he gets the chance to.

From Junho he takes back his favourite pair of basketball shorts; from Wooyoung, his sunglasses. Of all his boys, it’s Wooyoung he worries about the most.

From Taecyeon he takes back their pre-debut pictures, the ones that have made their way onto forums and immortalize the days of bad haircuts and free, unrestrained smiles.

From Nichkhun he takes back his collection of girlie magazines, because Khun has a pure image to keep up and Jay won't be there to take the blame for it anymore.

From Junsu he wishes he could take back the memories. They had entered the company at around the same time, after all.

He sends one last text message to Jessica, then pulls out the battery and cracks the SIM card apart. It’s a useless attempt at forgetting, because her number has been branded into his brain and her smile is etched in his heart.

After a final luggage check, he tucks his passport and boarding pass into the front of his hoodie and sits, watching as the sun comes up.

The rays hurt his eyes and he blinks-

He hears the sounds of the city stirring and thinks that he will never see a sunrise as beautiful.

[1] Kudos if you can figure out what they were singing during the 3AM karaoke session
[2] Even more kudos (and possibly an e-cookie) if you can spot when Jay's ability first kicks in
[3] That Cassiopeia jibe was nothing personal. I'm a Cassiopeia too.
[4] I KNOW that it's Edward Cullen, not Edmund or Edwin.
[5] I miss our leader. A lot.
mood: accomplishedaccomplished
sujumorphine on September 19th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
they were....singing to.....abracadabra? hahah lol. seriously, i have no idea 8) just some random guess *blame the show*
and i think jay's ability first kicked in when they were backstage?

anyways, this was good. it was all fun in the beginning but towards the end........ ;___; tsk.

rawr.kasenshiki on September 19th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Yes to the backstage, no to BEG x) Good guess though!

The angst wrote itself without me noticing TT___TT

krdzrkrdzr on September 19th, 2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
"Wooyoung is a human aphrodisiac" O.O
I still can't get over that.

I think his Jay's ability kicks in here: "The world goes quiet and everything around him stills; he can hear each breath his brothers take, see each nervous movement and hear each whispered prayer-"
...but that's just me.

They're singing to Abracadabra Dirty Eyed Girls version! hehehe. lol. or maybe Nobody... hmmm. I'm guessing it's a female group's song :D That's the only thing that I feel right about.

It was so awesome but then I started to feel sad again near the end. I still had a good laugh though XD

Seriously, I can't get over the human aphrodisiac thing. And out of all the members, he gets it! hahaha.

rawr.kasenshiki on September 19th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
YES! That moment actually wrote itself without me noticing :\

No to the BEG/WG though...good guesses!

Thank you :)
nutsovernutnutsovernut on September 19th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
they're singing "i believe i can fly"? rofl.

i seriously cracked up over wooyoung's and junsu's abilities! xD

the ending was a little sad though D;
rawr.kasenshiki on September 19th, 2009 05:59 pm (UTC)
You're right! xD
But I didn't make it really clear, so I'm not surprised you're the only one who's gotten it right so far :P

It wasn't supposed to end on a sad note ;___;
Stephanie Nguyenbunni102 on September 19th, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
The beginning made me LMAO. I mean their powers were so funny. I think my favorite has to be Wooyoung's. I mean I can just see him having that kind of power. Its so darn funny, cause now ppl have to stay 2.5 meters from him. XD
Lol, everyone's powers were so funny and I found it so amusing. I really love it so much. ♥

TT^TT, gosh the ending just kills me, I mean now that Jae's gone everything is going to feel empty. I miss him so much! ♥ Jae come back~!
I just really love how you describe Jae's feelings at the end it made me teary. TT^TT This fic deserves a memie! ♥
rawr.kasenshiki on September 19th, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Wooyoung's power is my favourite too :P And b/c it's HIM who has it makes it ten times funnier :)

I miss Jay oodles too :'(

Thanks so much!
배예림baeby_bloo_skys on September 19th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
so good omg
i miss him so much
piyokodesux: tukutzpiyokodesux on September 19th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
fuck, I miss him so much.

This made me laugh like crazy & the ending
made me want to cry...douchebag. :D kidding.
mani: pick yourself up ;r_hr_maniac on September 19th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)
none of them can believe that Taecyeon had managed to lift Kang Ho Dong with only his mind. lol, Ho Dong ♥

you couldn't have chosen anyone better for the human aphrodisiac powers, really ♥

the end...the end just brought me down. I just...uh. I don't think I'd ever get over Jay's departure from 2PM even if noone'd mentioned him ever again form now on.

love ♥
little miss prim and proper: 2PM: we're here boysprimroseshows on September 20th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC)
Hey, wow. This was incredible. I was so happy when I was seeing bits and pieces of their real life incorporated into this fic (Minjae hyung represent!!), but I was definitely NOT expecting you to follow through to the end, just like things had actually happened. My heart! IT SHATTERED. But in a really good way. ;A; That last part was just the most beautiful thing ever, and your last line is so perfect, I'm seriously getting emotional just typing about it here. ;A;;;;;;;;;

Regarding the rest of the fic: !!! That's about the sum of my reactions the whole way through. I loved the humour and Jay's astute reactions and this line in particular: then the rest of the conversation is dominated by giggles and some douche called Edwin Cullen and Jay finally has enough and pretends his battery is dying. LMAO FOREVER. I love your characterization and the scene from Jay's POV of the comeback was just beautiful. Jay hugging his mother was beautiful too. In fact this whole thing was utterly beautiful and I am memming the hell out of it.

I was actually a bit wary of clicking on this story, since it's Jay and considering all that happened, I was like, "Can I handle reading about a scenario with 2PM being happy and whole?" But I'm so so glad I read this. It made me smile and laugh and it cheered me up and even the end, while heartbreaking, was good to read because I felt it was just the right shade of sadness and finality. It reminded me how much I miss this guy, too.

Thank you so much for writing and sharing, bb. I'm going to check out if you've got some other 2PM fics now. (And if you don't, please make more!!)

little miss prim and proper: taec: this is my smart faceprimroseshows on September 20th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
Also: is this where Jay's powers first show up?

The world goes quiet and everything around him stills; he can hear each breath his brothers take, see each nervous movement and hear each whispered prayer-

omg bb, your writing fjalfd;jaf brb drooling
- kasenshiki on September 20th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
eighteen.envoler on September 20th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
this is so amazing! i loved how it gave a "heroes" vibe and your writing is stellar. and oh god, i'm not complaining if wooyoung actually turned into a human aphrodasiac! haha

the ending made my heart weep. oh god, i miss that man. ;~;
rawr.kasenshiki on September 20th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
i'm not complaining if wooyoung actually turned into a human aphrodasiac!

I wouldn't mind seeing that either ;D
music3chickmusic3chick on September 20th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
“Oh dirty socks of Junsu, come to thy master!”

A tenth of the value of the transformed object must be placed in the feed-Jay-more-American-food fund.

hahaha, this fic was hilarious. amazing job

the ending brought me back to reality :(
チャンス!: junsu saladmrsatterthwaite on September 20th, 2009 04:03 am (UTC)
wow. this was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and I love how you turned it into something that wasn't just plain crack. adding this to my memories 8D
chicMezchicmez on September 20th, 2009 04:23 am (UTC)
OMG!!! i love this fic. definitely meming this. hahaz. its quite sweet. and i feel sorry for WooYoungie. hahaz

"Minutes pass in stunned silence before Jay breaks it with the only piece of coherent language running through his mind: “What the fuck?”" hahaz is this sort of when it starts to happen?
chicMezchicmez on September 20th, 2009 04:29 am (UTC)
i love way too many parts in this sotry. hahaz.

WooYoungies power and I love the way that JaeBeom wrote the rules and him abusing his leader rights is just too funny.

"In his lonely corner, Wooyoung whimpers." hahaz!!! sorry but this just cracked me up XD
"03. A tenth of the value of the transformed object must be placed in the feed-Jay-more-American-food fund." ZOMG!!! JaeBeom!!!!
"Seoul did not need more rioting fangirls (because that was Cassiopeia’s job, not their kind, polite, sane Hottests)" AHAHAZ!!! this part just cracked me up!!! XD
- chicmez on September 20th, 2009 04:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
- kasenshiki on September 20th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
epicsalm0n on September 20th, 2009 02:06 pm (UTC)
th last part was so sad. i cried a little. but it was funny and well written! :D
desserted on September 20th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC)
Write more het. Please.
acrosstherug: Junsuacrosstherug on September 21st, 2009 01:29 am (UTC)
I want to comment on how funny and amazing and exceptionally well written this was but I'm still stuck on the
From Junsu he wishes he could take back the memories.
Because at this point of time, at this point of time in the fic, I'm so glad we can see him as a person who truly loved his team members.